Do you feel that your marriage isn’t what it used to be, and your
spouse doesn’t seem to share your concerns? You want to save your
marriage from ending, but it seems that you’re the only one who cares?
After a major blow to your shared commitment, like an emotional affair
or one of the partners having actually cheated with a physical
relationship, it is very common for people to lose hope in ever
surviving the affair. Yet if you really love your partner you need to
fight for your marriage, even if you’re doing it alone.
First, be very sure that you want to do this. Letting go is always
easier than trying to save your marriage, but so many realize after the
separation, that they might have committed the biggest mistake of
their life by not sticking around to find out if your love could have
been re-built and restored.
Don’t be discouraged by the lack of interest your spouse may be
showing towards your efforts, stay strong, only time will know which
one of you was right. If your significant other thinks that your
marriage isn’t worth saving, it may be just because he/she is angry or
disappointed right now
, when those feelings fade away, your love will have a chance to bloom again.
, when those feelings fade away, your love will have a chance to bloom again.
When in a crisis, lots of couples can’t even eat dinner together
without ending up in a fight. I know it’s hard but try being more
friendly towards your spouse who is having or had an emotional affair,
and support them instead of criticise their every move. Let them know
you still care for them, even if you’re having a hard time trying to surviving the affair,
and forgetting what happened between you two. Try to lead by example
with your behavior, when things get ugly, just step aside, and let
yourself cool off before talking to your partner again.
Show them the beautiful parts of the relationship:
- Having someone to rely on,
- Having a best friend to talk to in moments of difficulty,
- Having a shoulder to cry on
- Being totally supportive and making them smile.
Be a friend to your spouse, it could well save your marriage.
Many couples fight because one of them feels they have devoted their
whole life to the relationship, while the other one doesn’t share
their commitment. If you admit that you need time for yourself as well,
you will seem less needy and more independent, which is a very
attractive quality in a person. Plus, even if things aren’t the best at
home, going out with your friends or having a relaxing pastime, you
will feel much more relieved, and full of more energy to devote to surviving the affair and saving you marriage.
Showing your indifferent spouse that you have a life of your own,
can often spur their interest, and win back your loved one’s affection.
Nobody wants to be around a resentful, bitter person, but everyone
loves calm, cheerful people. Show your spouse that it would be their
loss to lose a lovely, wholesome person like you. Putting the emphasis
on you for a change, could be the easiest way to survive the affair and
rekindle your marriage.
source: Surviving The Affair
